Creating a positive life
Being positive can be a challenge under trying circumstances, and there is no doubt there are times when non-positive emotions are appropriate for the situation. But day-to-day, how can we keep a positive state, and why is it so important to do so? We spent 5 minutes chatting to Gillian Skeer, Master Coach NLP at Creative Coaching Solutions.
How does our mind frame affect our day-to-day experiences?
Your thinking determines your outcomes, so it’s important to take stock of what your inner voice is telling you. If you find you are putting yourself down with self-talk or give yourself a multitude of reasons for not going after what you want, then it’s time to change your state. The more you run those patterns of thinking, the more embedded they will become. They’re just the same as habits and will ultimately determine your behaviour and and your results.
What approach do you encourage for breaking negative thinking and keeping a positive mind?
Once you start to become aware that your self-talk may well be sabotaging your happiness, you can do something about it. Notice your negative thoughts and negative language and actively break the pattern. The effect of reframing your thinking could have a profound affect on your business.
One approach I teach my clients to break negative thinking is to create a positive state using anchors. An anchor is any stimulus that’s associated with a specific response and can occur both consciously or unconsciously. You might describe an anchor as a trigger or something that sets us off on a particular emotional path. In a positive scenario, you might find comfort when someone puts their arm around you, because at some time in the past you experienced a positive emotional response to that physical connection. A certain song may be a positive anchor for you if it brings back happy memories. A pat on the back might be a positive anchor because it makes you feel like you’ve done a great job. So wouldn’t it be good to be able to anchor in lots of positive states like calm, relaxation, motivation and confidence which you can access when the need arises? When you understand how anchors work, you can set up resourceful anchors for yourself and purposefully use them as a powerful tool to positively manage your emotional state. With practice you can control your own state instead of allowing your state to control you.
What is your advice to business owners who can often find themselves in stressful situations?
How you look at a situation will determine your experience of it. You have the choice to look at any situation in the positive or the negative. Reframing is a great technique you can use when you are faced with a situation that brings about a negative emotional response in you or makes you feel disempowered. By putting the situation in a different frame, you can change its meaning, enabling you to think about it in a more positive and empowering way. So, for example, a missed opportunity which you might normally see as a loss or a failure can be viewed more positively say, as one that opens up alternative possibilities for you. We can all choose to change our perception about anything. If you put a positive spin on it you’ll notice your states and behaviour will also change.
Gillian Skeer – Master Coach NLP at Creative Coaching Solutions, offers professional Life and Success Coaching and Training to clients on Bartercard nationally and internationally. Premium-level in-person, Skype and phone coaching is available.
Connect with Gillian Skeer, Master Coach at 0417 908 925 or http://www.creativecoach.co